Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Government Humor

 

Government Jokes And Quotes. QuotesGram

The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same


1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man   is a shame, two is a law firm,   and three or more is a congress.   
-- John Adams

  

2. If you don't read the newspaper   you are uninformed, if you do   read the newspaper you're misinformed. -- Mark Twain

 

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And   suppose you were a member of   Congress. But then I repeat  myself. -- Mark Twain

 

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a   man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the   
handle. --Winston Churchill


5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on   the support of Paul. -- George   
Bernard Shaw


6. A liberal is someone who feels a   great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

-- G. Gordon  Liddy

  

7. Democracy must be something   more than two wolves and a sheep   voting on what to have for dinner. --James Bovard  Civil   
Libertarian (1994)

 

8. Foreign aid might be defined as a   transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.   
-- Douglas Case,   
Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University


  

9. Giving money and power to   government is like giving whiskey   and car keys to teenage boys.   
-- P.J. O'RourkeCivil Libertarian 

  

10. Government is the great fiction,   through which everybody   endeavors to live at the expense   of everybody else. -- Frederic   
Bastiat French economist(1801-1850)

  

11. Government's view of the   economy could be summed up   in a few short phrases: If it   moves, tax it. If it keeps   moving, regulate it. And if it  stops moving, subsidize it.   
--Ronald Reagan (1986)

  

12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the   facts. -- Will Rogers

13. If you think health care is   expensive now, wait until you  see what it costs when it's free!   
-- P. J. O'Rourke

14. In general, the art of government   consists of taking as much   money as possible from one   party of the citizens to give to   the other. --Voltaire (1764)

  

15. Just because you do not take an  interest in politics doesn't mean  politics won't take an interest  in you! -- Pericles (430 B.C.)

  

16. No man's life, liberty, or   property is safe while the   legislature is in session.   
-- Mark Twain (1866)

  

17. Talk is cheap, except when  Congress does it. -- Anonymous


18. The government is like a baby's  alimentary canal, with a happy   appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.   
-- Ronald Reagan

 

19. The inherent vice of capitalism is   the unequal sharing of the blessings.The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. --  Winston Churchill

  

20. The only difference between a  tax man and a taxidermist is that   the taxidermist leaves the skin.   
-- Mark Twain


21. The ultimate result of shielding   men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.   
-- Herbert Spencer, English
Philosopher (1820-1903)

  

22. There is no distinctly Native  American criminal class, save  Congress. -- Mark Twain

  

23. What this country needs are  more unemployed politicians   
--Edward Langley,
Artist (1928-1995)

  

24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is  strong enough to take everything   
you have. -- Thomas Jefferson

 

25. We hang the petty thieves and   appoint the great ones to public   office. -- Aesop

 

After Super Bowl LV ended, the Kansas City Chiefs continued to play, scored five more touchdowns, and some time between 3AM and 5AM all the major networks declared the Chiefs winner by the score of 44-31. 

The NFL commissioner issued this statement, "There is no evidence of fraud."
 
Nancy Pelosi said, "Tom Brady is a disgrace to the game. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers should be banned from ever playing football again."
 

FIVE BEST QUOTES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into   prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without   working for, another person must  work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to  anybody anything that the  government does not first take   from somebody else. 

4. You cannot multiply wealth by  dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the  idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the   
beginning of the end of any nation!

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Neither could I.